Flaming is a hostile and insulting interaction between Internet users, often involving the use of profanity.
Flaming usually occurs in the social context of an Internet forum, Internet Relay Chat (IRC), Usenet, by e-mail, game servers such as Xbox Live or PlayStation Network, and on video-sharing websites. It is frequently the result of the discussion of heated real-world issues such as politics, religion, and philosophy, or of issues that polarize sub-populations, but can also be provoked by seemingly trivial differences.
Of course, the above definition does not point out that often the “seemingly trivial differences” are never trivial in the eyes of the flamer.
You might wonder why I would mention flaming, and the reason, of course, is that I have been flamed recently. I think anyone who uses the internet either has been flamed or will be sometime in the future. The person who flamed me has done so before, and even before the internet was prevalent or we had a vernacular name for this sort of personal and vindictive attack.
My policy previously has been informed by my dear spouse, who has advised me that this person gets furious, vents, fumes, sulks (sometimes for years) and then eventually lets go of the issue and everyone can move on. The best thing to do, he has told me, is to do nothing and not worry about the situation, which will eventually resolve.
This has indeed been the case in the past times. The problem is, when one has been viciously attacked, even when the attacker has let it all go, it is hard to forget the previous attacks. One tends to be on guard, and careful. The explosion is never pleasant.
I let my guard down recently, and the inevitable attack occurred, via an email that was a huge “FUCK YOU” written with a pen dipped in poison, expressing feelings engendered by misinterpretation. It was painted in terms that were insulting and mean, and contained assumptions, inaccuracies, slurs, innuendos, and character assassination.
I have refused to respond. And I will not. Nothing is accomplished by flaming except the wonderful power of being able to hurt people by doing so.
Of course I was hurt, deeply, but mostly I have recovered. At present I have found deep compassion for this person. While my compassion is there, I have learned my lesson, finally. I have no need to ever see this person again, or to exchange any words, nor will I. This means that I will not have to suffer another flaming episode, as I will know not to read any further correspondence from that quarter.
I read my Tarot cards about the situation, doing a four card layout I like, called “clarification of a situation or emotional condition.” After you select the cards, they wind up in a square layout. The card in the North is the actual theme which is really of concern at the moment. The West card shows what you are receptive and open to. The South card shows what you are expressing and showing of yourself outwardly. East is the key; pointing a way in which to overcome the problem actively.
This was the layout I got:
Honestly, I really was not expecting such a group of positive cards. The theme card, 10 of Cups (Satiety), indicates that I should let things develop by themselves, and that everything comes to me at the right moment. What I am open to is the 3 of Cups (Love), and indicates that I have something especially valuable to share. I must be open for the people who can share these feelings. They are a gift and I don’t need to look for them. What I am expressing, Prince of Wands, indicates intensity, blossoming love, intuitive creativity, and moving out of the darkness into the light. The key, the way to overcome the problem, is 9 of Wands (Strength). I am advised to use the power gained through unifying conscious and unconscious energies, and demonstrate wholeness.
Nice to know that I am surrounded by love and am coming into my true power. I certainly know I have something valuable to share! I feel this truth more and more in my professional life. Last week, two different people called me a miracle worker because of the effect my body work had on their health and pain levels.
A beloved, powerful, miracle worker: I can live with that.