The Wedding Meme

Henitsirk tagged for a meme, and so I join the game forthwith.

1. Where/how did you meet?  The short answer is, we met in San Francisco and were introduced by my sister.  But, it is an extremely long story, told at length elsewhere.   A few days after that post, there was additional information offered, part 1 and part 2.  

2. How long have you known each other?   We have known each other since April 1, 1982.  That would be 26 years now.   Almost one half of my life.   How amazing.

3. How long after you met did you start dating?  We never actually “dated” per se.  If you read the long version, you will understand that shortly after we met we moved into an apartment together.   Not long after that event, we became lovers.   Then we became best friends, and finally got married.

4. How long did you date before getting engaged?   We lived together for three years before we got engaged.

5. How long was your engagement?  We decided to make our commitment public during the Memorial day weekend, and set the date for August.   I guess that means we were engaged three months.

6. How long have you been married?  Twenty three years at our next anniversary.

7. What is your anniversary?   August 10.   We chose that date because it was one week before Jim’s folks were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.   Jim’s siblings were planning to travel quite a distance for that party, and we figured that it would be nicer to them if they could attend both events with one trip.

8. How many people came to your wedding reception?  About 35.

9. What kind of cake did you serve?  We had a wonderful carrot cake from Just Desserts.   We ordered it plain, and when I went to pick it up, I let it slip that it was our wedding cake.  The bakers were quite upset that we had not allowed them to decorate it. 

10. Where was your wedding?  We were married under the ash tree that stood next to the fuchsia garden in Jim’s parent’s back yard.

11. What did you serve for the meal?  I just happen to still have the hand written (by me) menu produced for the occasion.   Let me just add here that everything on the menu was cooked by Jim and me, except for the chocolate dipped strawberries, which were made by my best girlfriend Gail.  A funny little story after the event:   We hired a brass quintet from the San Francisco Conservatory of Music (where I was going to school) to play at our wedding and dinner.    Since Jim and I did not have a receiving line, we served the lime soup to each guest as a way of greeting them all.   Also, we were muched involved in the serving of the dinner, since we cooked it.   The following Monday, at the Conservatory, one of the trumpet players from the quintet came up to me and said, “That was the best food I have ever had at a wedding.   You know, Ellie, I have played a lot of wedding gigs over the years, but this is the first time I have ever seen the bride waitressing!”

12. How many people were in your bridal party?  The bride and groom, and our two witnesses, his brother and my sister.

13. Are you still friends with them?  Yep.

14. Did your spouse cry during the wedding ceremony?  No he did not, although there was a tear on his cheek as we had our picture taken following the “Big Kiss.”   I, however, was blubbering away during the readings and fearing that I would not be able to speak at all when it came my time to make my vows.   My wonderful mate noticed this, and, noticing an extremely tall (about 5 feet) wild lettuce plant volunteering in the background of the fuchsia garden, leaned down and whispered in my delicate, shell-like ear, “Look at that weed.”   I did, and the humor of it all wiped all tears away like magic.

15. Most special moment of your wedding day?  When he held me in his arms after we had gotten home, drunk champagne, opened our gifts and consummated our marriage, and said, “Now it is legal!”   (In the State of California, your marriage is not considered legal until consummated.   Until then, you can have it annulled.)

16. Any funny moments?  Lots.   The funniest was when Jim’s big brother directed his children to sit out in the hinterlands of the wedding feast.   They were quite upset until they realized that that corner was where Jim and I proposed to sit, since we were busy serving and overseeing the food, and our wedding silver (gift of my parents) was over there.   So not only did they get to sit at the “head table” with us, they got to use our particular sterling silver to eat with.   Their triumph over their father was quite humorous.

17. Any big disasters?  Not a single one.

18. Where did you honeymoon?  No honeymoon.

19. For how long?  I said, no honeymoon.

20. If you were to do your wedding over, what would you change?  I would make it possible for Jim’s brother who was in the Air Force and stationed in Germany at the time to be there.

21. What side of the bed do you sleep on?  The right side as I face the bed.  That would be on the west.

22. What size is your bed? Queen. 

23. Greatest strength as a couple?  We see each other as partners for life in everything.   We nurture each other.   We each do the work that is necessary at the time, undefined by traditional roles.  We communicate well.

24. Greatest challenge as a couple?  To keep the lines of communication open at all times.

25. Who literally pays the bills? I do.  If it was left up to Jim, we wouldn’t have nearly the sterling credit rating we have now.

26. What is your song?  “Love Will Keep Us Alive” by the Eagles.

27. What did you dance your first dance to?  What?   There was no “first dance” in the traditional sense.  

28. Describe your wedding dress.  How about a picture, it is worth a thousand words.  By the way, I made it myself.  It is 100% silk jacquard, matches the inner color of my eyes perfectly, and I can still wear it.  (Ha!)

29. What kind of flowers did you have at your wedding?  See above photo.  The corsages for the women were the roses.   The men wore leis made of white carnations.  Jim refused a boutonniere because it was not appropriate for his uniform.   The tables at the wedding had long arrangements of mixed spring flowers.

30. Are your wedding bands engraved?  No.   Jim’s got destroyed when he got it caught in the baler and luckily did not have his finger removed during the event.   We have given it to a jeweller friend to repair but she has had it for four years and I haven’t heard from her in a very long time.   I don’t know if we’ll ever get it back.   I almost never wear mine since it interferes with doing massage and I rarely take it off the ring guard to wear it.   When I do wear a ring, I prefer the ring that Jim gave me for Christmas about 8 years ago that has a beautiful triangular emerald set off by three tiny diamonds.   I think that if you need to wear a ring to remind you that you are committed to your life together, you probably don’t have much of a relationship.

So, there you have it.   The wedding meme.   Thanks for tagging me, Henitsirk!  Anyone who reads this, feel free to jump on the bandwagon if you are so moved.