Look. I am just sick of spam. It is so completely pointless. I mean, I just got one that was advertising apparel for Whippets. Whippets????
If these people knew anything about me they would know that I have no need of cialis, and I am pretty sure that my husband doesn’t need it either. Neither am I in need of any other of those nostrums they are peddling. What on EARTH makes them think that receiving their spam comments will cause me to click on their URL and go visit their site? Ever in a million years?
And what about those pharmaceuticals they are trying to persuade us to purchase? I know, I know. My cholesterol could be above the number they feel optimal. But my High Density Lipids are very high. I am very active. I have very little stress. My blood pressure is around 118/62. I eat virtually no trans fats. My diet is high in fiber. So I’d rather risk a not very likely heart attack than screw around with my liver function. But “they” have studies, and you should ask your doctor if Xzyxox is right for you!
Actually, as soon as I get distracted, which I do with some regularity, and start to read the news paper headlines, I make a liar out of myself because I immediately feel some stress. Today in the San Francisco Chronicle they were reporting about the demonstrations against the war. I wondered if Bloglily was there, and if she was, I am proud of her. If I could afford a plane ticket, I’d be there.
The monstrosity of the war in Iraq hits me very close to home. I have a boy who is in the Army and he very likely is one of the 21,000 troops the Shrub has decided must be sent to Bagdad PDQ. This pisses me off. I feel that we should get out of there and have felt that way for over a year. Well, actually, I was one of the ones who thought we should never have gone to war and attacked a sovereign nation in the first place. I know, I know, I am a lousy cowardly traitor.
I have never been in favor of this war. I could not believe that we were suckered into a fight when it was patently obvious that it was all a pack of lies. There were UN inspectors over there and they weren’t finding anything. We were told by the nations of the world to wait and see what they turned up, and then discuss a rational course of action in the international tribunal.
We chose to ignore that. Worse. Our leaders went running around screaming, “He’s going to hit me, so I need to go hit him first.” Shameful.
And now our precious sons and daughters are over there, killing and being killed. Bombs are falling, rockets are launched, things explode around them. Both sides paint themselves as God’s servants, talk about the other side as if they were the personification of The Great Evil.
Meanwhile, all this is distracting us from the biggest peril we have ever faced: the Global Climate Change. Things are going to get warmer. There will be flooding. There will be storms. There will be crop failures. Forest fires. Droughts. I’ll be able to grow roses more easily, and the grapes will thrive. Maybe.
I desperately want a cistern. I want to be able to water my vegetables and fruit trees and favorite flowers without having to use a well for the source. We have two acres. If we could set up a collection system like they have in the Outback of Australia on those sheep stations, we would probably no longer have to buy water for irrigation from the city at all. This would save some electricity and lower our carbon footprint on the planet.
I also desperately want to win the lottery or get about 5 million dollars granted to me so I could buy certain tracts of acreage in this town and make them into beautiful green strips, drought tolerant and full of wildlife habitat. I have no idea how to get Bill Gates’ foundation to give me that money or I’d be haranguing them about it, but I figure I have a better chance with something like that than I do with the lottery. I do buy tickets, though. Every once in a while somebody wins. Why not me?
But then I think, what good will it do? We are embroiled in Operation Iraqi Liberation for the sole purpose of making sure we have a good steady supply of OIL, the burning of which is what is causing the climate change to begin with.
I have not written to the President during all of this. I have not been able to figure out what to say to him that would not immediately elicit a visit from my local Homeland Security representative. Every time I start to think about what to say, I get so profane that I know that if I wrote it and sent it, it would immediately get my letter tossed into the basket marked “Whacko”.
One of my friends sent me an email that has been circulating around the Web, the one about what sort of speech we’d like to hear from the President for the State of the Union.” It is very US-centric, isolationist and rather insulting to the rest of the world. This is supposed to be funny, and elicit a bit “Yeah! Amen brother!” This was my reaction to the speech, which I emailed to my friend:
“Actually, I would not be the slightest bit happy to hear this speech. I would rather hear something like an apology for turning the US into a rogue nation that attacked a sovereign nation competely against the policy of the United Nations, a group of people to which we belong and which was designed to prevent such atrocities. Then I would appreciate an abject apology for his complete arrogance, and an admission that he is a complete moron followed by his resignation effective immediately.
I am particularly offended by the portion of this speech which refers to drilling for oil in Alaska, which would IN REALITY supply the nation’s need for petroleum for about six months while completely destroying the small amount of wilderness we have left.”
The person who sent me the original email responded by telling me that she knew that the speech would get a rise out of me. So I sent her back a further statement:
“I was in a particularly foul mood this morning. I performed a stupid drunk trick last weekend and have been paying for it in pain ever since. I am finally started feeling better. As I was driving to my massage I was reflecting on the whole political situation and contemplating writing a letter to our Head Politician, and I realized that it would go something like this:
Dear Mr. President,
I haven’t written to you so far because I have been afraid that my name would be placed on your list of traitors and terrorists. But I am sick of you. Your existence in the world has made me question my faith and belief in God, because I can’t help but think that if there was a God, he would have pinched your tiny arrogant head off your body by now.”
I haven’t written or sent this yet. I’m afraid that sending a letter like that might earn me my very own folder in the FBI and get all my email and telephone conversations monitored. They can do that, you know. It’s all in the name of security. We should be grateful.
Then I suddenly remember Ben Franklin’s statement in the Historical Review of Pennsylvania , which for the record, is not quoted often enough:
“They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.”
the havens 