I knew that something was up as soon as my mom got out of bed today. She had those clothes on that smell like my brother and the river. And she got that white box out that she puts delightful smells into. Sometimes it is crunchy grain thingies and that soft stuff that is white and pungent that so often goes on the hot bread meat herb flat thing He makes, but today it had a stingy acidy smell and it only had those crunchy things She brings in from the place out back where I have to stay on the paths but sometimes there are rabbits I have to chase.
Anyway, I knew she was going to go see my brother Slick and the river especially when she started putting things in the car. I saw the paddle and the floatation. I watched Her. She made Him breakfast and they both ate and I could smell the roasted meat underneath the hot peppers and there were eggs and hot bread and several different fats wafting over to me as I waited in the carpeted area where They think I should sit when They eat. Oh, I thought I really wanted to go along but sometimes I don’t get to, so I waited and I hoped.
After awhile She said “Okay, Come on” and I knew that I was going to get to go this time and I could hardly wait to see Slick and wrassle and chase and maybe even bark even though She doesn’t really like it when I bark but I get so excited I just can’t help it. But then I had to wait while They did that thing They do with their faces it’s so boring. But finally they broke it up and then I had to Sit and then it was Dog Out and Oh boy there was a rabbit over in the vineyard and I guess I showed it where it was supposed to be and then She called me and it was Dog In and we started to GO. It was great. She even rolled the windows down. She always does until I get tired of having the wind push my eyelids off my eyeballs and stop putting my face out the window.
After a long time we finally got there and I was very confused because Slick wasn’t there and no one knows where he is. My other Mom said they thought he was looking for romance but I don’t know what that is because my mother had me spayed a long time ago. Anyway, he wasn’t there which was a bummer because I really was thinking wrassling would be good and even though Marshmallow was there he’s nice but he’s not my brother plus he’s pretty old and gets stiff and sometimes in a bad mood and doesn’t really like games all that much. So anyway Slick didn’t get to go floating with us because he was off chasing tail whatever that means.
I got to swim, and run, and She kept throwing things into the River but when I went out there to get them the way I am Supposed to they weren’t there and everyone kept laughing at me. She tried to make me stay on shore while she threw those things that disappeared but I know I have to go out there and get stuff when She throws it that’s my Job. I’m a retriever. My first and last names are Retriever, I heard my other Mom say so and I guess that’s about right. She was actually pretty annoyed with me but I didn’t understand I had to go get the stuff it’s my Job.
So after a while She said She guessed she had better stop trying to skip rocks when I was around or I would drown trying to find them. I don’t know but it’s my Job. So then She threw a stick and that was good. Then my Other Mom threw sticks and that was great too.
I was really starting to get tired by that time. See, when we are in the river I don’t like to get to far ahead of Her after all She could get lost. Once She and He were lost forever and when They came home and they smelled very funny for weeks afterwards and I didn’t like that even though that guy that fed me and lived with me while they were gone was a very nice man and petted me and fed me and took me for walks he wasn’t Her or Him.
Anyway. So I had to keep swimming back to where She was to make sure She was really coming and not lost, even though She kept telling me I didn’t have to and then She would get ahead of me and I would have to swim very fast to catch up and She kept telling me I could run on the bank and I tried it but that was too far away from Her. I like to be near Her, you know. It’s just better that way I don’t know why. So I did a lot of swimming.
So then since I was all panting She thought maybe I should be in that weird Tippy thing that floats on the water with her in it. I was very confused even though She kept telling me Dog In I know that means get into the car so we can go for a walk or go inside the gate or come inside the house with Her or Him but this was very confusing. So I lay down on the gravel bar right next to the Tippy thing to show her I didn’t mean any disrespect but I just didn’t know about Dog In when it means a tippy dizzy making thing with funny noises outside it that is cold when you lie on the floor. So she got out of the Tippy thing and showed me I could put my front paws in there and after they were in my hind paws and tail just sort of came along, and she said Good Dog and that made it cool.
Then She got in and I swam for a while without having to swim. And then She started laughing and told me to Sit Still and so I stayed as quiet as I could but my Other Mom kept talking and pointing and I had to look at her several times. I don’t know what they thought was so funny.
After a while She told me I could get out of the Tippy thing and I was glad. Then I swam some more. After we practiced Dog In a few more times I finally got the hang of it especially after Marshmallow told me how silly I was and showed me how easy it was. But then it wasn’t that easy because we got hung up on a rock. She said it was because my fat butt made the front of the canoe heavy and it acted like a pig boat whatever that is. Anyway the Tippy thing got really tippy for a minute and She told me to sit still but I just had to look over the edge of the Tippy thing and the water was RIGHT THERE and it made me nervous but then she did People Out and things were okay again even though it seemed like there was an awful lot of water inside the Tippy thing with me. Then I had to do Dog Out and then we swam down to where everybody else was waiting for us. And everybody said what a good thing it was that we didn’t really totally dump because that might have been bad for the camera whatever that is.
It was a beautiful day, not too hot but that doesn’t really matter when you are swimming.
We got back to the house where my other Mom lives and Slick still wasn’t there so I was ready to go home and have my dinner. When we got there He was there! That was good He could have gotten lost like before but He didn’t and the house smelled really good too. I had dogfood like always. They got to have steaks grilled out on that thing outside that gets hot and there was other stuff that got cooked on it too I could smell it but it was that stuff that comes out of the place out back where I have to stay on the paths and I don’t really care for that kind of food much. Steak smells really great though. But dogfood is really good too.
I’m really tired. After we got home and I ate dinner I fell hard asleep and I don’t even care if there’s a rabbit in the labyrinth or not, even though I dreamed of one a little while ago.