Archive for August 3rd, 2009


I think it is very interesting how the blogosphere sometimes works.   Bloggers start memes, or participatory things, whatever you want to call it.  One of several things happens.   They start the “thing”, no one notices, no one participates, and it dies a quick death.   They start the “thing”, a few people start participating, and they go and visit the participants and a happy little community starts.   Then the “thing” catches on, they install “Mr. Linky” and they rapidly discover that there are way too many people participating and so they only visit their “pets” or “friends”.   Sometimes the “thing” becomes so unmanageably huge they start a whole other blog to manage it.  Or they talk about starting the “thing”, people participate, and they ignore the people trying to share.

Guess which ones I’ve encountered lately?    Maybe bloggers are just too busy, God knows I am.   But I am fragile enough to not deal with the perceived rejection very well.   It hasn’t been a very good week so far.

Another thing I’ve noticed is that since Twitter and Facebook have risen to such huge popularity, if you don’t Tweet or Face-off, there are some people you just don’t hear from any more.   I’m not willing to divide my energies that far, and in spite of all the glowing things I have heard about Facebook, it seems like what it really is is a mining operation for cell phone numbers and a complete time-sucker.    I say the first because there are so many little items that if you want to participate in you have to give them your cell phone number in order to complete the quiz, or whatever.    Screw that.   I have a cell phone for MY convenience, not the convenience of the rest of the world, and I am sure as heck not ready to carry the “Electronic Leash” around with me, or pay for the privilege to be “accessible” all the time.  Furthermore, what the heck is wrong with email???   Or actually TALKING on a phone.   It seems “texting” is far more convenient and cool right now than actually holding a conversation.

Passive aggressive control freaks of the world, Unite!  Twitter and texting are your tools, made to order by an industry that you  are enriching.  Who’s controlling who?

I’m in a rather bad mood today because it is hot hot hot in a way it hasn’t been for a month, just in time for canning season.   So, with it hot and humid, what am I doing but boiling a huge vat of water for half an hour so I can seal up the tomato puree that the garden has so kindly provided for the winter.  On a positive note, the garden is producing rather excellent tomatoes, and all 7 pints of puree sealed up in seconds when their boil was over.   I got to work off some of my spleen by pouring boiling hot water on the violets in the path, too.

Add to all that the fact that Smokey is now in what looks to be the last days of his life.   The poor fellow is over 17 years old, his heart is giving out.   He has been less and less active as the months have gone by, which is not surprising for a geriatric.   But now he is extremely frail.  He has lost a pound of his body weight in the past couple of weeks (over 10%).  All his systems are working normally, he has just decided he no longer cares to eat anything.  Water is fine, but food holds no interest in the slightest. He walks out to the pond (very slowly) and curls up under the forsythia, which makes the birds very upset.  They spend a lot of energy admonishing him and telling every other living thing in the area that there is a dangerous predator out there, and all he wants to do is sleep.

I am “prepared” for the day, maybe today, maybe tomorrow, maybe the next day, when I go out to see how he’s doing and I find him having made the transition from barely alive to not alive.   But I’m not happy about it.  And meanwhile, all the other cats I have loved and lost in my life are coming to mind.

I feel like I am witnessing the ritual decision to die that some Native Americans were reputed to have made when they felt they were too old and had no further use to the tribe.

After the whole horrible experience with Mike last year, I am not going to torment the cat by force feeding him.   Doing that whole exercise with Mike (for over a month) only prolonged his life by a few weeks which were demeaning and nearly intolerable to him, and did not change the ultimate outcome.   I am not going to torment this cat in the same way.

I am not looking forward to the weeks after his death, when everyone in the world will think that I need another cat or a kitten.   I already know of someone who has a cat she doesn’t really like who really thinks that that cat would be ideal for me.   Let’s see, a cat that has a personality problem that makes her a candidate for being a cast-off, but I should take it.    What’s not to like?   Jim and I have discussed the whole situation and at the present time we do not feel like we want to take on another feline companion for a while.   There are several reasons, none of which I think are the business of the people who are all set to put pressure on me to have a cat.   So that is another aspect of this coming death that I do not look forward to in the slightest.  Why do people think they know better than we do what is good for us and our lives?

Anyway, I am sad and mad and hot.   Hope you are all doing better than that!

I guess I need a drink, or something.

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