I just hate it when She starts going around the house from room to room collecting things and putting them in those weird packages that stay in Her room most of the time. Even though they smell quite interesting, they give me a stomach ache because I know that when She has those out she is going to be gone for a while and I just can’t relax when She is gone. In fact, I just can’t face breakfast either. I just don’t know whether She will be back again or not. After all, the cats disappeared one after another and they never came back. It could happen you know.
So this time She was only gone a couple of days and so I only lost a few pounds even though He is nice and takes me for walks it just isn’t the same and I just can’t eat. And when She came home She smelled so interestingly of other cats and people and stuff. I was so happy when I heard the car drive in I almost sprained my shoulder jumping up and down. And then She and He were just sooo boring because all they did was stand by the sink and do things with the sweet round balls She carried in from the car. My they smelled good and in the night while they were sleeping I got to lick the sweet juice off the floor where some of it spilled.
So then The Boy came back with Some Girl who smelled greatly of dog-fear. But I was so sweet and nice to her, I don’t think it is right for people to just assume that I will bite them just because I am a long tall redhead, and anyway she pets me now and tells me I am beautiful so that is okay. I don’t really dislike anyone but golly when The Boy is around She doesn’t really have time to talk to me that much. She just sits around sipping on that sour red stuff I don’t even bother to lick it up when it gets spilled it is so disgusting even though they keep talking about bouquet and finish and whatever. They talk about “Iraq” and “The Army” and all sorts of stuff that I can’t smell so who cares anyway. But She does take me for my walk usually except for last night when they all got dressed up in different clothes than they wore all day honestly people are so weird about that clothes thing I am so glad that I only have one outfit and it fits perfectly and is quite elegant I think even though sometimes it seems like She thinks it needs to be washed just a little more than I like or think is necessary. I mean I can do it myself you know.
Oh I almost forgot! The other day when we were walking I just love that walk, there are rabbits to exercise and I love smelling the deer and the turkeys have little chicks so there is so much to smell and do and there are skunks and raccoons at night but anyway. We were walking and I got ahead of Her and all of a sudden I saw that She was just stopped and staring at the ground and honestly I don’t pay much attention to the grey rock strip she walks on it gets so baked and so dry it really doesn’t smell like much and if I sniff at it the dust makes my nose tickle but She was staring at it so I thought I should go back and see what was taking Her so long and when I got there I almost stepped on the tiniest little snake I have ever seen and boy! It was awfully fierce for such a small snake considering if I had accidentally stepped on it it would have been crushed, and the language it was using as it vibrated its tail trying to warn me away! Really! I only noticed it because it hit me in the foot with its head a couple of times and told me things such a young being shouldn’t even know to say so after a while because we were just standing there watching it it got very huffy and slithered off into the grass and I wanted to sort of nudge it along it was so rude but She told me “Leave the baby black snake Alone” so I did. She seemed awfully pleased about it although I don’t really get what is so great about tiny fierce rude snakes.
But anyway, last night when they got home I could tell they had been someplace where there were LOTS of people around and there was chicken liver smell and toasted pork fat smell and grilled steak smell and so many other wonderful smells I just couldn’t stop sniffing their shoes it must have been the most wonderful place in the world to have so many different kinds of meat in one place and all cooked just right with such exotic wonderful scents of seasoning. Also it made them all in such a good mood it really must have been a wonderful place they kept saying Farmer’s Gastropub whatever that means and how they had to go back there and in my book anything that makes them smell that delicious they should go back to visit on a regular basis.
So I just HAVE to tell you that Old Missus Box Turtle was out parading around the yard yesterday. I can tell she is the same turtle because, well I’m a dog and I can just tell, but She says that box turtles have a very unique pattern on their shells and She seemed very happy the Old Missus was walking around even though earlier in the spring She wasn’t that happy about how few strawberries there were and Old Missus has told me how wonderful those red things are after she has finished telling me not to touch her and be rude like I would be like Other Dogs and try to pick her up and play with her like I’m some big dummy who doesn’t know the difference from a turtle and a ball.
Well I have to go its been great talking to you but She says its time for breakfast and I’m all for that.